I came into our small group and sighed, ‘I am so glad I am over 40 right now.’ A male friend smiled and said, ‘You know I was just thinking the same thing today.’
So what makes ‘over 40’ so good? No toddlers, no relationship dramas, great sex and you’ve already seen so much bull that you can spot most of it a mile away. Your children are old enough to help, and hold an intelligent conversation. Your home routine (or lack thereof) is fairly well established, and no one expects you to be super-mom anymore. In fact, if you do sit on the ground with the kids people are asking if you need any help getting up! (Not that I do need the help, but its nice to know that if I don’t feel like getting back to my feet there’s assistance without judgment.)
And that’s the best part. I don’t know if it’s because most of us grew up, or because I just no longer bother wasting my time on these things, but there are a lot less people judging me. The women who are good at hair, make-up, decorating a home etc now offer to help rather than criticize. (And one day I may take them up on their offer… It’s not that I don’t decorate, but hippy/ dorm room is as far as I got in life.) Believe it or not one of my new best friends sells Mary Kay! (Now I know my twitter pic is of the one day I actually did dress up with my daughters, but if you knew me you would know this friend is my antithesis based on this fact alone.) And she doesn’t care that my idea of getting ready in the morning is hopping out of the shower and throwing some hopefully appropriate clothes on.
Now back to the sex. (You thought I just threw that in there and forgot?) Being married for years upon years means you know each other well, that you are comfortable with each other and now that the children are no longer waking you up every night you actually have energy. In fact some nights bedtime comes and you’re not all that tired yet! (Imagine that young moms…) It’s not just the sex though. It’s the absence of fights that are really all about each person not understanding what the other is saying. It’s about being able to say anything you want without the other person taking it the wrong way because they know you and trust that you love them, and always will. It’s comfortable, and comfortable is good. Really good.