The other day I was talking with two mothers. We were all home schooling, and both mothers were new to it. As I recounted my life and experiences I noticed that each mother was reacting differently to everything I said. At the end of the conversation one mother exclaimed, ‘I know who I’m coming to with any questions!’ The other shrank away from my presence.
I’ve seen this reaction before. Moms who are not secure in what they are doing, and who dislike hearing that anyone is in a better place then they are. The irony is that years ago I was in the same place they were, and their results are likely to be just as good as mine are! I am just a little further down the road, and a lot more comfortable with what I am doing, because I have been there, done that, and seen the fruit of some of my work blossom into blessings for the children I taught- and they have not had that experience yet.
The problem is that we are trained, for the most part, by society to see life as a competition, and with that perspective we have trouble asking for help, or even utilizing the people God puts into our lives who are good for instructing others. The older cannot teach the younger if the younger are threatened and offended by the offer.
The woman who loved hearing that I had all of this experience is rare. And the irony is that I would love to help in any way I can, and now that mine are grown, and leaving the house at a rapid rate, I have the time (and energy- no more midnight feedings etc) to do so. I love this stage of my life, but it will all go to waste if the younger generation continues to belittle each other and make each other fear looking weak, or less than in comparison- especially when that comparison is the equivalent of comparing apples (an older mom) to oranges (someone still fresh and cheeky and ready to take on the world). And the irony is, in general, women love to talk, and especially reminisce about their children’s younger years!
I am the mom I am today thanks to a remarkable generation of older women. I went to their houses as a home care physical therapist, and gained mountains of insight and advice as we engaged in small talk about my children. Did I do everything they recommended? No. But I did learn a lot, and it is time for my generation to return the favor. Young moms, ask yourselves: Who you are allowing into your life to provide wisdom and insight that will make your life easier and more enjoyable in the end? (Pick some good ones!)