God is a God of redemption- a God who erases your past and doesn’t care what you have done. He is willing to forgive and use you mightily, so stop beating yourself up, stop repeating the past in your mind, and remember….
Rahab was a prostitute. (Just let that sink in.) She was not a virgin when she got married to Salmon, and her ‘number’ was probably over 1,000 (365 days in a year x a few years is quite a few men… Yet God used her to save the Israelite spies, allowed her to marry a very godly man, and she became an ancestor of Christ. If God can use her and give her a blessed life with a good man, then He can do the same for you! Stop feeling bad about your past and accept, and enjoy, the blessings God is trying to put in your life.
Bathsheba was an adulteress. Whether she enticed David, or simply felt like she had no choice we do not know, but we do know that she, and David, were unfaithful, yet she too was chosen as an ancestor of Christ, and David (who had her husband killed) was known as a man after God’s own heart and wrote many of the psalms. If God can forgive, and use them after what they did, then do not doubt that He can forgive and bless you!
Tamar was a woman in a bad situation. Her first husband dies, then her second husband dies. She is childless and sent back to her family in shame, even though none of it was her fault. God redeems her, and she too is one of the ancestors of Christ. The woman in Song of Songs is also a victim of circumstances. She believes herself to be ugly and her family does not take care of her. Still a king finds her, believes she is beautiful and thinks she is the most wonderful woman he has ever met. Life circumstances are not the end of the story. Life can change. Be ready to embrace the change and accept what God has for you. Too many stories end because the person believes the lie that they are not worthy and refuses to accept the blessings God tries to bestow.
Ruth is an outsider who is taking care of a widowed mother-in-law who has fallen on hard times. She lives in a cave for years after her husband dies, but her hard work and goodness is noticed and a godly rich man (who does not believe he deserves such a beautiful woman) falls in love with her and makes her his wife. She too becomes an ancestor of Christ. Persevere and your hard work and goodness will eventually pay off in ways you cannot imagine.
No story is ever so bad that it cannot be changed. Stay the course and be ready to accept the blessings God bestows. Too often we beat ourselves up and miss the blessings in our life because we think they are too good to be true, too good for someone like us. Stop thinking you do not deserve to be blessed. Step into the opportunities that present themselves as if you are truly forgiven and your past no longer matters- because it doesn’t.