Christian living- dealing with one 'oops' at a time…

Service and Helps

Helps and Service seem similar, but they are not. A person with the gift of service serves for a long period of time. They are steadfast, reliable and willing to do everything. These are your long-term church secretaries, your regular soup kitchen volunteers and people who can say that they have taught Sunday school for thirty years.

A person with the gift of helps on the other hand is a short timer. They are the ones who love mission trips, work weekends, disaster relief etc. They burn out if you make this a steady job, but when you really need them, they are the best help you could ever ask for. And we need them. Typically life goes the way life goes, but when tough times come, these people get moving and are the ones who work until the job is done. Then they rest. They are not steady like those with the gift of service. When they are done, they are done, but they are there when you need them!

Now the problem with these giftings is that if you never use them they get antsy. They want to be doing something, so sometimes they cause the problems so they can help ‘fix’ things. So don’t be afraid to put them to use when there are things to be done! Lots of energy and little to do is a poor combination.

Hospitality

Neither I, nor my husband have this one! Some would argue that we do make people feel comfortable in our home, and we try, but this gift is more than just being nice and offering people drinks etc. (Which I often forget to do, so if you are in my house and are thirsty please ask!) This gift is where the people thrive on having others over. They beautify their house and make food specifically for this purpose and they are not afraid of having people mess things up. This is the difference. Many people beautify their homes and/or cook because they like to. The person who is gifted in hospitality not only likes to, but wants to see people use what they have as well. If no one comes over, or they cannot cook for someone for a long period of time they go a little nuts.

A few of my friends have had this gift. One had eight children yet had time to leave baked goods for us on the front seat of my husband’s car every now and then because she had made too much for all of them. (Think about that for a second. We had seven kids, she had eight and she had the time, and wanted to feed us too.) Another friend hosted everyone who came to the church. See also hosted Bible studies. She made all the food- awesome food, and knew when the single men of the church would be driving by her house so she could call them at work and send them on errands to shop for what she needed. (One husband was not enough for her industrious side. She was an older woman and the men loved helping in this way.) This is hospitality. The most upset I have ever seen her is when she was hosting a Christian group and the leader decided they did not have time to stay for breakfast. And as her husband said, ‘You know what my wife’s breakfasts look like.’ She had indeed spent much time on the meal, but it was not lost time that hurt her, but the inability to serve.
My husband once asked me why I enjoyed Quilting Quirks so much. I am not someone you could see naturally loving to quilt, and it shows when I quilt, but I do love going. What I told him is, I am the only ‘leader’ (okay administrator but we often lump the two together) in a room full of people with the gift of hospitality, it is the most relaxing weekend I will ever spend away from the family! People with this gift rock!

Discernment

I have only experienced this gift once. It is sometimes referred to as the ‘discerning of spirits.’ It is when you know, for no earthly reason that someone or something is involved with the demonic. Now often we can logic this out, because there are signs that people are playing inappropriately with the supernatural, and often people admit to it. In our society going to have your palm read, or having a tarot card reading does not have much of a stigma, and there is not as much really dark magic available. So why is fortune telling etc so bad? Because you are going to a demon, rather than God, for information that God has decided we are not yet to know, or we are to ask Him for. You are circumventing God, and achieving your goals without Him, and this is always bad. Our ultimate goal is an intimate relationship with the Lord. Going to demons, or even liars who make things up is the exact opposite of this.

So, my experience, brief as it was, involved a woman some friends said I ‘had to meet.’ As they brought her over I had an overwhelming feeling that I cannot truly describe. I wanted to run and all I could think was why are you bringing her close to me! I stayed, and was pleasant, and examined my feelings later. Shortly after this meeting I discovered that there were a few false prophets in our area. They knew things that were correct about the future, but they used them to convince people to do things that were not godly. (One man was encouraged to leave his wife.) I never saw this woman again, but I would not be surprised if she was part of this group. This group existed within the churches, and because their predictions came true they were thought to be extremely godly, but the ‘fruit’ (the end result) of their involvement resulted in people falling away from the Lord and doing things that were obviously not right.

Leadership/ Administrator

I do not have the gift of leadership. My husband does. That may seem strange after what I said about pastoring, but leadership is different than pastoring. A pastor directs the people in the ways they should go. A leader sets the vision. He has the long-term plan. And if it is a gift from God people jump on board and are eager to help, many times doing even more than the leader dreamed. Pastors help guide the people as they accomplish this vision. Administrators see the details. Leaders are often not detail people, so they need these people really close to them.

Administrators see the day-to-day needs and make sure they are done. They do not compete with the leader, but it sometimes seems like they do most of his work. A leader often says, ‘I do not know what I would do without (fill-in-the-name- of -the administrator),’ and he is right, a lot would be missed if these people were not there. They make sure the plans do not crumble, and that the little annoying things get done. (The pastors keep people excited and encourage them to keep their commitment, often plugging them into areas where their skills can be used. They guide the people.) It is a mistake to think either the leader or the administrator could do any big project independent of the other unless a person has both gifts (not common, probably because God likes us to work together as one body). Comparing these two types of gifts is detrimental to the project and must not be done. Leaders often look lazy or incompetent because they are not as concerned about the day-to-day needs, but without their vision there would be no overall plan and great things will not be done.

It is also a mistake to believe that only males are leaders. The Red Cross, the Girl Scouts, Mary Kay and many other organizations were started by women. These women had a vision that probably went even further than they had ever imagined. Sometimes in marriage a wife has leadership skills, where the husband is more administrative. This causes problems if the couple has been taught that only the male may ‘lead.’ The wife sees clearly the vision for the future of their family and is now upset that her husband does not see the same things and even more than she does. Often the husband is okay with following her plan. (Knowing when to use a good plan is a sign of great authority in any organization.) The problem is that the wife wants him to come up with a plan that is better than hers because that is what she was taught the man is to do. Whatever the man being the ‘head’ of the house is, it cannot be this. A good ‘head’ knows to use the people under him and to let them fly when they have an idea. God gives vision to people in authority, yes, but He also gives leadership giftings to others, and a person who has authority knows when someone else has a gift and that it is best for the group to use it! The person with a ‘leadership’ gifting therefore does not have to be in a position of authority. The person in authority merely has to let the ‘leader’ use their gift by identifying that their vision is good, and godly and setting up a situation where the person can see the vision through. (‘Leadership’ is probably a bad term for this gift, since it does not necessarily mean ‘the ultimate authority’ but it is the best we have.) By the way, I am the administrator to my husband’s leadership. That sounds like he would always be ‘in charge’ but since I am better at seeing the details that would snag his plans and I make sure the details get done the reality is that I am often the one telling him what we should do! My instructions are ultimately to accomplish what he has envisioned, but if you only see us function for a short period of time, especially if it is a time where much of the ‘work’ of the plan needs to be done, it could seem like I call most of the shots…

Teaching

This is probably my main gift. It flows through everything I do. I do very little without explaining why I do it to others. My son once called me and I said that I was never very athletic. He said, ‘But you were awesome at karate.’ I said that I wasn’t and that I worked very hard for what I had achieved. He then pointed out that all of the guys lined up to learn from me. I said, ‘Ah, I am not a great doer, but if you have the skill I am great at showing you how to use it.’ That is a teacher. A teacher can break down what they know and apply it to your situation so that you can understand how to use the information. It is not that they necessarily know more than you; they can just communicate it in a way others understand and can apply to their lives. If you give a teacher new information they will likely explain it back to you. Not because they are trying to take credit for it, but because that is what they do with information. They make it real. They look at it from different angles and play with it until it becomes real, and then they share. Typically you cannot get a teacher to shut up, but some are quiet. With maturity you learn when to share and when to let the person come to their own conclusions. A teacher walks you through the process. They do not spoon-feed you but they make you think and do so that you actually learn and find the information useful. This is why not everyone who has facts can teach, and why it is a gift.

Pastor

Yes, being a pastor is a spiritual gift. It is not just a job. In scripture the word ‘pastor’ means ‘shepherd.’ My experience with this gift is brief. (They nicknamed us the ‘whirlwind pastorate.’) But I am convinced that many people have, and use this gift without ever holding the position. (Pastor is always plural in the New Testament, indicating that there should be more than one with this gift in the church.) These are the people that direct flocks of people. People follow them and look to them for advice and guidance. There is a danger to this. People with this gift must be careful what they say and how they act because other people naturally copy them and have a tendency to do what they say.

I became pastor in a very odd way. I was home schooling my children and had just finished my doctorate when one of my children, during night devotions (a practice I would highly recommend) said, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to have our own church?’ This was not a child that one would expect to say this, and it struck me as something I needed to pay attention to. I mentioned it to my pastor, who, instead of reminding me I had seven children at home, thought it was a great idea. What I didn’t know is that the area we were moving to was in desperate need of a pastor. My pastor called the powers that be, and put me in touch with them. When I called their office what I did not know was that many, many people call and say that they have a call from God to pastor a specific church, and that they are usually phonies. Later the gentleman I talked to said that when he got off the phone with me he spoke to the higher up person and said, ‘I think this is for real.’ We moved, and I attended the church for a while. I then told the interim pastor what God had placed on my heart and he got really excited. I became senior pastor (they only had one pastor, it was small) before I was even credentialed. Now, before you think it was all smooth sailing, by the time I got to the credentialing meeting I thought it was merely a formality. Somehow God had not informed the pastors on the board that this was the case, and the interview did not go as well as I hoped, though I was credentialed in the end. I thought I would be pastor for life, but that was also not to be. I don’t know why I was there only a brief time, but we did much while we were there. God has a plan and a time for everything, and one of my children needed more attention and needed to be far from the environment he was in. We moved, and he improved. Later he went downhill again, but as an adult, and that is a different story. The beauty of pastoring is knowing that you are called. I never felt anxiety over what I was doing, nor did I worry about what I was going to preach. I threw out my sermons when I was done because these were messages for this group, today, and they were not to be repeated. I was shepherding a small group, teaching them what the Lord needed them to hear now. Not that the messages weren’t good for everyone, but they were specific for this time, place and people. Some weeks God did not lay anything on my heart to preach until the last minute. Most of the time though I knew what I was to speak on after the Sunday service. God also directed people to me. I had the resources and answers to meet their needs when they called. It was fun. If I had no message, then we prayed, and truthfully those were the best services! I also encouraged my congregation to ask questions and talk back to me. (This can only be done in a small church, but it was fun.) People came to the church, but God also moved many away in that year. Some relocated due to jobs. One became a missionary and left quickly, it was amazing how the pieces fell into place. Still the church did grow, despite the fact that my goal was to fix the place up before we did much outreach. (The building needed much work, and there were ‘smells’ that had to be located… Four major ‘smells’ to be exact.) We ripped out carpet, painted, planted and decorated. One of my sons felt moved to rip out dead bushes. Not an easy job. (When children really want to do hard work, for free and do it well and quickly you kinda know it has to be God!) People also got saved. We baptized three and more professed faith for the first time. And we weren’t even ready yet. And then I knew we were to go. This was hard. I loved this church and felt like a perfect fit for it. But I was obedient, and knew my adopted son came first. I missed the work, and the people, but also knew that my calling was for that church, and not for pastoring in general.

I still have the ability to have people follow me. I am very careful about it, but find it strange when I, now the new person, am the one people look to for the answers. This is the true gift. You may have all of the right answers, but if no one is willing to listen or follow, you can accomplish nothing. You can also lead people astray. I kick myself when people misunderstand my words because there is a very real chance they will do something based on what they think I said. They will also tell everyone else I said it and make me look bad, but that is another issue.

Some say that the gift of pastor goes along with the gift of teacher and that they are never separate. I am not sure that this is true, but it is good for the pastor to be a good teacher if people are going to listen and follow. There are some however, who have people follow their example. They are quiet, and don’t say much, but everyone knows they do what is right. This may be teaching by example, or it may be just pastoring. I don’t know, and truthfully it doesn’t matter. What I do know is that pastor is a spiritual gift and there are many people with this gift directing the sheep in our churches, not all of them in the proper direction. (Everything can be abused.)

Miracles

Miracles are much like healing. They are supernatural things that occur because God wills and does them through you. Moses turned the water to blood, and parted the Red Sea etc. As far as I know God has not performed any miracles through me, so I will share my favorite story.

A pastor and his congregation built a new church. Just before they were to open the town decided that their parking was inadequate and they could not open the church until the problem was solved. They were out of money, and only had a huge hill that was not suitable for parking to work with, so the pastor called the congregation to the property to pray, and in faith claimed that they would be meeting in that new building next Sunday as planned. On Monday the pastor received a phone call. A new building was going up and they desperately needed fill dirt. They noticed that the church had quite a hill that would supply what they needed. They promised to pay for the dirt and leave the area level when they were done. The pastor now had money, so he called a local paving company. Surprise, their job for the week had just been cancelled and they would be happy to do the work for just less than the money the pastor was to be given for the dirt. So the next Sunday the church was allowed to open. God had moved a ‘mountain’ though not in the way anyone expected. In my experience, this is often the way God likes to work. Using people and including them in His plans. Since He is a God who values relationships, this makes sense.

Healing

First let me tell you about my own healings. When I was a sophomore in college I began having problems with my blood sugar. I would pass out multiple times during the day and the doctors were stumped as to why. Finally they labeled me hypoglycemic, and by eating every three hours, and avoiding sugar, white flour (simple carbohydrates) and caffeine I was fine. This lasted for eleven years. At the same revival where I was blessed with the gift of tongues my husband, without my knowledge, prayed that I might be healed. (We had just adopted and I was busy, so busy I was not taking as good care of myself as I should and had passed out two weeks before.)

The next day I awoke to a friend on the phone who revealed that her husband had been abusing her. This was not the type of conversation where you said, ‘Excuse me, can I get back to you after I eat?’ So I stayed on the phone until one in the afternoon. (Somehow the children stayed in the vicinity and behaved, another miracle!) When I hung up I noticed the time and thought that I had just made a huge mistake. When my blood sugar was out of whack it usually meant three days of feeling bad before things righted themselves again, and not eating often put it out of whack. But I did not feel bad. I did feel strange though, and then I realized, ‘I’m hungry!’ When you eat every three hours you do not ever feel hungry, so I had not had this sensation in years! I went to get something to eat and, when my husband came home from work told him about what I had felt. He admitted that he had prayed for me. Later, I decided that even if I was healed I would continue to eat as I had since it was ultimately better for me. (I was not trusting and was rationalizing things.) That night I had a dream where God told me that if Peter had not gotten out of the boat he would have never walked on water. I knew this meant that I was to trust Him for my healing, so that week, at a Baptist Camp that did not believe in these things, I ate everything, eclaires, candy bars, you name it. I have not had a problem since.

The Lord healed me before this time as well. I was in a Baptist Church that believed the gifts of the Holy Spirit were of the devil, yet I was experiencing some of them. This created a bit of a problem. I sought out all of the area pastors, Pentecostal and otherwise, and asked many, many questions. I also studied the Bible. I wrote a ten-paged paper on why I believed the gifts were for today and where the flaws in the logic of the arguments against them existed. (I had also been given, and read, many books about why the gifts were not for today. I read no books on why the gifts were for today, apparently Pentecostals don’t write as much…) I was driving home, ready to throw my paper away, having an argument with God. (We argue a lot. He usually wins.) I had just talked to a pastor’s wife who had told me to ‘pray for a sign.’ Now I knew the ‘sign’ she wanted me to have was the gift of tongues. I also knew that my God has a sense of humor, and could just see this gift being bestowed on me in the middle of a quiet Baptist service. (Okay, maybe He wouldn’t do that, but it was a fear of mine.) So I was praying for a sign, but also telling God that I loved my church and did not want to have to leave it. I was also singing to the radio. (I multitask well.) What I didn’t tell you is that I was born tone-deaf, and while I enjoyed signing, those around me did not. Suddenly I heard myself sing. I mean really sing. (Before I always thought I kinda sounded like the radio- not true.) The radio and I did not sound at all alike. I was over-joyed (even though I obviously stunk at singing, but many, many people had driven this fact home for me so I was okay with that.) When I got home I tried singing songs I knew, and realized I can’t! I did not know how they go! (I was bad enough to know I had to be wrong.) I also heard the baby voice of my youngest daughter that day. So incredibly precious. I am no longer tone-deaf, even today, and I know that I know that God’s gifts are for His people still. I sing slightly better, but still make sure my microphone is off when I do. The Lord also has a sense of humor. Not long after that I was asked to join the church Praise Team. I played saxophone by reading music, and was very ‘technically’ correct, but their style required me to play by ear, even though they tried to provide me with the notes. What a stretch! But the Holy Spirit showed up every week and it went extremely well.

Other healings have happened in our lives as well. My youngest daughter prayed for a new-born kitten who had a mass that was bigger than its head. We had tried everything, and the vet said that the only thing we could do for the kitten was to get a shoe-box and a shovel. (Country vets are a different breed. It’s okay, we spoke the same language and knew what he meant.) My daughter prayed and the next day the cat was healed, perfectly fine, not even a scar where the mass stuck out of his head. He lived until he jumped out of an RV when the door accidentally opened, much, much later in life, and may be alive with a new family still. (We did not find him.)

My daughter also broke her leg. While the healing was not full, by the time we arrived at the ER it was not the nasty compound fracture it has been. She also broke her clavicle. I could palpate both ends of the break, and they were not lined up. I prayed and when the ambulance came, there was nothing wrong. I took her to the hospital in my car to have her looked at anyways. This is where I found out that miracles can sometimes make you look a little foolish. She was a perfectly healthy child, in the ER. Thankfully the doctor was my husband who said, ‘You prayed, didn’t you?’ He knows I am sane, and also a physical therapist who taught Gross Anatomy Lab in college. This means I am good with my hands and know where things are. The clavicle (collar bone) was once not where it should be. I knew it, and even showed others that it was so.

There are many more people however whom I have prayed for who were not healed. Some I prayed fervently for, to no avail. Why? I don’t know. But I do know that when you are supposed to pray, and there is a miracle available there is a feeling that you know that you know that this is what you are supposed to do and a certainty that it will happen. The certainty comes from God. It was not something I had by myself. I was prepared to bury the cat and bring the child to the ER each time. But somehow I knew, even though I checked. My son shattered his ankle playing soccer during his senior year and if anyone ever prayer wholeheartedly for something it was him, yet he had to go through the slow recovery and the physical therapy that followed, and missed the end of the season he really wanted to be a part of. I of course prayed too. I can’t tell you how it works, just that God must know what He is doing and why, and in that we have to trust that everything is ultimately for the best. For one son a broken arm kept him out of BMX bike racing in a town where the BMX crowd was bad news. I did not know this when we were preparing to sign him up and consider it a blessing in retrospect. He did not need that kind of pressure.

Tongues

The first time I spoke in tongues was at a Benny Hinn revival. Now before you get too judgmental remember, these revivals have over 30,000 committed Christians praising the Lord for many days straight. Even if Mr. Hinn is not the type of ‘godly’ you would like him to be, there is no doubt that there is power in this many people praising God. So here I was, singing with the choir with the rest of the stadium, lost in the fact that I loved the Lord, and it just happened. And it was wonderful. And I wanted to do it all day, everyday, which would have been weird. I think that reason that so many do not receive this gift is that we are rarely completely focused on praising God. I know that this is difficult for me. Even now my worship and prayer time are commonly a struggle between giving attention to God, and thinking about whatever else is going on in my life, mostly stupid little stuff, not even things I am greatly worried about. So what I am going to have for dinner often precludes being totally present with the Lord. Sad, but true. It is this tendency that keeps many from having an experience where the Holy Spirit can freely work in and through you. Being completely present when you worship and pray is therefore the goal I would recommend seeking if you want to experience His gift. Do not focus on the gift, but the giver, God, and be content letting Him decide where or when He will give you what you seek. Two things to remember though. God is a gentleman; He will not give you things you do not want, against your will. Second, this is a gift, and the giver gets to decide what and when a gift is given. Sometime it is not you. It is just not the right time, and when you do receive it, it is then that you know why He waited. Or maybe not.

So what is it like to speak in tongues? I really can’t say. Even though I am able to pray this way, it is incredibly difficult to describe. You are talking, but you are fervent, wanting to really pray. It is like you are going to fast for words. (Not that tongues is speaking fast, it just seems ‘efficient.’) Most of the time you know who or what you are led by God to pray for, just not really aware of what exactly you are praying. There is sometimes an urgency, like this really needs to be prayed for, but sometimes a peace, and a comfortable feeling. It probably depends on the person you are praying for’s need. One time I began laughing every time I prayed for a certain man. He was my pastor. (Not my current pastor.) It got to the point that I wanted to know what the joke was. Then he spoke on the gift of tongues and said that the first time God blessed him he could not stop laughing. Somehow this made sense. You don’t know what you are praying for, exactly, when you pray in tongues but you have a feeling that you are being effective and that God is hearing you intercede for whatever the need is. (How is that for a non-answer?)

Tongues in church, or other group setting is different. Why? Probably because you are not by yourself. This prayer is therefore not just between you and God, but for the edification (building up, benefit) of the group you are in. For this reason it is different. First, there should be someone else there who has accepted the gift of the Holy Spirit so that they may interpret in words people can understand what you have said. On Pentecost it seems that many, many people were gifted with the ability to interpret in their own language, and it makes sense that they would translate in the language that they are most comfortable speaking, probably the language they think in. Today it happens like this (at least in my experience). There is a feeling, almost a ‘heaviness.’ The church gets quiet. (Even my seven children shut up and settled down, which is how I know it must be from God!) It is as if people are waiting for something to happen. Someone will then say something. It sounds good, but no one understands. Then someone, usually someone different, translates and tells the room what was said. I have never spoken in tongues in a group, nor have I translated. I instead am often able to ‘confirm’ the message. (This is not in scripture, but it is what I do.) God gives me the translation after the interpreter speaks, usually about one or two words before they say them. Not fast enough to be the interpreter, but just early enough to know the message is from God.

Has anyone ever faked a message? Yes. One person I know always had messages that basically said ‘everyone needs to be nicer to me.’ Another group told a woman she would have a baby in a year. She didn’t and actually had her uterus removed. This I knew was false, but how do you tell an infertile woman people she loves are giving her false hope? She left the church over this, but has thankfully kept her faith. Faking this is an awful, awful thing to do. I am not sure everyone who does it understands that they are faking. I think some are emotional people who really want what they say to be true. But it hurts people and destroys their faith, so let’s be sure before we say anything, okay? And remember, God tends to trust people with maturity with His messages, so it is okay to consider the source.

A Word Of Knowledge:

On another occasion I looked at a Face Book picture and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and told me that this girl was going to mean something in my son’s life. Being a Christian mom, I assumed that this was ‘the one.’ No. This was the girl he had already gotten pregnant and wanted nothing to do with. I would have this girl in my home for a time while the two of them tried to make things work out, and be there for the birth of the baby. The Holy Spirit prepared me to handle this situation and accept the girl with love, but did not promise everything I read into the message. In retrospect I again realized how much I had assumed. I had added to what the Lord had told me in my mind.

Same son, different day, a long time ago. We had just adopted this son, and he had asked to go upstairs to his room to do his math homework because it was too noisy for him downstairs. This seemed like a reasonable request so I allowed it. As I was making dinner the word ‘calculator’ popped into my head. I knew it was true, but the boy in question had been in so much trouble that I hesitated, not wanting to add one more thing to the list of things he had been in trouble for lately. But I knew it was from God, so I called him down. Sure enough, all of his work with fractions had answers that were not fractions, but decimals, always to eight digits, a sure sign that a calculator is being used. Because he was so stunned the conversation was brief, but it made an impact. This, and a few other times things like this have happened, now have my adult son saying, ‘God always tells my mom…’ (But He does not do the same thing for my non-adopted kids!)

A Word of Wisdom

Knowledge is knowing something when you should not. Wisdom is knowing how to apply it. King Solomon showed wisdom when he asked the women to cut the baby in half knowing that the true mother could not allow this to be done. Now it may not have been the birth mother who stopped him (ever think about that, adoptive mothers often have!). But it was the mother who cared the most for the baby’s safety, and the one the baby would do best with. This is a true ‘mother.’ And hopefully it was the one who gave birth to the boy, because that is how it should be.
Wisdom is therefore the ability to apply God’s laws to difficult situations. Many people know the Word, but not everyone can apply it well.