Christian living- dealing with one 'oops' at a time…

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

God Can Use Anything: Even Me (Part 2)

Today we’re going to get personal. This is a story from my life.

Years ago when my husband and I were young Christians we were providing free medical care to a friend. My husband is an osteopath and I am a physical therapist. We were looking at the same knee from slightly different perspectives. With both of us being Type A personalities and not being raised in fundamentalist Christian homes the discussion became heated and at some point I cursed. (Not typical patient care either, I know.)

Now what we did not know is that from the outside this friend thought we were ‘perfect.’ We went to church, had adopted three older kids in addition to our four young ones etc. Hearing me use a ‘not made for church’ word she decided, ‘If Judy can curse then I can go to church.’ And the rest is history.

I am not saying that curse words should be added to the Roman Road any time soon. I am just saying that God can use anything, even our mistakes to accomplish His will.

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God Can Use Anything (Part 1): Jonah and the Ark

One of my favorite preaching stories comes from a friend of mine’s friend. He was having a great day at the pulpit. Or so he thought. After the sermon he gave the standard altar call and 15 young men went to the altar to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. In rural areas this is a record number. Feeling pretty good about himself he went to greet the rest of his parishioners before they left for home and buffet. An elder then pulled him aside and mentioned, ‘You do know it was Noah and the ark, not Jonah…’ Stunned he thought back to his sermon and realized that he had repeatedly replaced Noah with Jonah throughout his sermon. Years later he thought back to the group that came to the altar that day and realized that every man was now serving at some level in ministry. The take home point: God can use anything, even your mistakes.

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Life

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How To React When A Non-Christian Invites You To Sin

Recently a college student asked me, ‘What do I say when a friend asks me if I want to ‘get blazed’ and watch a movie with him?’ This is a great question, and by asking it the student shows that he does not want to hurt this person’s feelings, but he also does not want to ‘get blazed.’ So how does he decline in a Christian manner?

Many Christians go overboard when someone asks them to sin. They go all ‘fire-and-brimstone’ on the person and scare them away. The person they talk to leaves feeling hurt and thinking Christians are a bit mean. Why? Because the person was asking you to join them to be nice, because they liked you, and was blindsided by the amount of emotion you put into your response.

Here is what we forget when we behave like this:

1. 1 Corinthians 5:12 tells us that we are not to judge those outside the church; they are expected to sin. Our acting ‘shocked’ that this person would do something ‘sinful’ is unreasonable. While you may hope that they would choose better, even without a relationship with Christ, they have not made Christ the Lord of their life, so it is foolish to expect them to follow His rules.

2. What they have just said, without saying it, is, ‘I am not a Christian.’ The bad behavior (here the drug use) is not their biggest problem. If you keep them from doing drugs tonight you may save them a few brain cells, but have you really changed their life? Introducing them to a loving Savior is therefore more important than condemning them for whatever they are currently doing. It is the life-change that a relationship with Christ brings that will ultimately help them to clean up their lives, not your condemnation.

3. They were trying to be nice and include you in their life. To repay kindness with venom is mean. This does not mean that you go and do it with them, but be kind about it. They were putting themselves out there and offering you their friendship. Keep this in mind when you react.

So how do you answer them? You of course do not want to do drugs, or be caught in a situation where the police would assume you were doing drugs, so you would face the consequences regardless, because no one believes you were the only one not doing it. So be honest, but light. Say, ‘Thanks, but I like my brain cells a little too much.’ Then offer to do something else with the person. Chances are, unless your friend is truly addicted, going for pizza is just fine too.

The friend, by offering to do something a typical Christian would not, has just told you that he is not a Christian. So how do you handle this? (Because this is the most important point.) You love him. You treat him well. You talk to him as you would anyone about your beliefs, and invite him to anything you like to go to, including church. He may not go. That is okay. Your relationship is not based on getting him saved. If this is all you are doing, then it is a scam. You must truly love him, regardless of whether he ever goes to church with you or not.

So what if he insists on doing drugs or other offensive things around you, when he knows that you do not like it? Remember, in any relationship, Christian or non-Christian, you have the right to set boundaries. (So does the other person.) If you have asked him not to do something, and he keeps doing it, you can tell him that you cannot hang out with him if this is how it is going to be. He also has the right to ask you not to talk about Jesus, etc. You can still be friendly and respect this. Your actions, and lifestyle, rather than your words will be your testimony. So check your life and remember, the command is to ‘love your neighbor,’ which does not include showing everyone that you are ‘better’ than they are. Your testimony is more powerfully shown through your compassion, the fact that you are willing to help without complaining, saying you are sorry and caring that you hurt people, telling the truth even when it benefits another, treating other’s as if they have worth even when you don’t agree and standing up for what is right when someone is being mean.

Loving people, even when they are Christian, is tough. People rub people the wrong way at times. Keep this in mind and give everyone the grace you would like to be shown when they think differently than you.

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Life

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Being Skinny is Overrated

I was once one of those skinny people who never seemed to gain weight no matter what I did, then I hit 35…. Now I am thinking it is time to diet (shhh…. There’s a part of me that does not want to know yet!). So here’s my spoof on being skinny.

While most of us think we want to be super-skinny, we are obviously missing the fact that there are some serious disadvantages to take into account before signing up for this life style!

1. It’s tough to maintain. One large order of fries means at least 30 more minutes on the treadmill. For a more voluptuous frame you need to eat at least that much for snack just to maintain your weight!

2. Cell phones just fall out of your pant’s pockets because your thighs are just not be thick enough to fill a standard pant leg. And if you do wear ‘skinny jeans’ you can be sure that the more ‘stocky’ in nature will point out how immodest you are!

3. There is not enough room in your bra for cell phone, tissues etc. And if there is, you are just too dang sexy to get away with it!

4. If there is a famine, skinny people die first.

5. Being amenorrheaic means never knowing if your pregnant or not, and inconsistent periods (because you don’t have enough fat to manufacture hormones) means wearing white pants is probably not the best idea.

6. Children cannot get comfortable and snuggle on a bony frame. By being skinny you are not thinking of the kids! Shame on you.

7. You’re always cold because you lack insulation, and husbands hate cold feet in bed. (Not that gaining weight has helped this situation…)

8. It’s easy to overspend on clothes since everything fits and looks good on you!

9. People of the same sex assume you think you are better then the rest of us and don’t feel comfortable talking to you. And the less attractive don’t want to be seen near you.

10. People of the opposite sex want to date you for your body, not who you are. Think of the marital problems you could have avoided if you were just a little less ‘hot’ while he was dating you…

11. Sitting on hard surfaces hurts your butt because you lack padding.

12. Everyone assumes the dish you bring to the church potluck is going to suck.

13. People assume you do not want seconds, or desert, and don’t mind giving you the smallest piece.

14. When you burp, people notice. We expected more from you.

15. You will never win the armrest battle, or be offered the aisle seat.

Now on to try to lose some weight…

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Life

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The ‘Good’ Points in Being a True 1950’s Housewife

When I began to pastor the church I found literature from the 1950s that was apparently being passed around as ‘the way women should be.’ (Our church was only 20 years old and did not exist in the 1950s.) While I did not agree with much of it, there were a few good points.

The 1950s woman threw on a ‘house coat’ or some other ‘easy to care for/ don’t care if I get dirty’ frock in the morning. She took the kids to school in this, cleaned the house etc. Just before her husband got home was when she, and the children, washed and made themselves ‘presentable.’ How many young mothers today, who are home with the children, find that they are not able to get a shower until 4:30 or so? This is not a bad plan.

After dinner was ‘family time.’ The dishes were often left for the morning (after the husband went to work) so that the whole family could spend time together. (There were actually dividers sold and/or doors at the entrance to the living room so that guests could not see into the kitchen.) The woman’s ‘work’ was therefore also done for the day at this time. And since only the living room was used for guests, if it had been a ‘tough day’ and the rest of the house was still a wreck, so be it.

The husband was reminded that his wife had a ‘ministry to the household,’ which he was to respect. While I do not believe that this is the only ‘ministry’ a woman can have, it is a tough one, and appreciation of what a stay-at-home wife does all day in taking care of the children and the house is wonderful thing.

Since all women were home with their children, a time to have each other over for ‘tea’ in the afternoon was expected. This is when the women and children visited, so it did not interfere with family time. Also remember that schools let out around 2:30, and there was no homework or extra-curricular activities until high school during these years. The visiting was done in your house clothes, so it was relaxed. You were not expected to ‘look good’ until your husband got home after 5. Looking good was for him, not something other women were to judge you on.

Milk and other ‘staples’ were also delivered to your house (by men), so you did not have to run to the store as often. Bakeries and meat markets were within walking distance. Making dinner just got easier because you just ran to the corner (or sent a child) if you needed anything.

While I truly understand the frustration with never being able to use your God-given gifts as a woman during this era, there were a few perks to this time for when the children were small that we do not have today.

It almost makes a young mother long for the ‘good old days.’ (I have no clue what the women whose children were grown were supposed to do. In my family they drank.)

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Life

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Why I Like Being Over 40

I came into our small group and sighed, ‘I am so glad I am over 40 right now.’ A male friend smiled and said, ‘You know I was just thinking the same thing today.’

So what makes ‘over 40’ so good? No toddlers, no relationship dramas, great sex and you’ve already seen so much bull that you can spot most of it a mile away. Your children are old enough to help, and hold an intelligent conversation. Your home routine (or lack thereof) is fairly well established, and no one expects you to be super-mom anymore. In fact, if you do sit on the ground with the kids people are asking if you need any help getting up! (Not that I do need the help, but its nice to know that if I don’t feel like getting back to my feet there’s assistance without judgment.)

And that’s the best part. I don’t know if it’s because most of us grew up, or because I just no longer bother wasting my time on these things, but there are a lot less people judging me. The women who are good at hair, make-up, decorating a home etc now offer to help rather than criticize. (And one day I may take them up on their offer… It’s not that I don’t decorate, but hippy/ dorm room is as far as I got in life.) Believe it or not one of my new best friends sells Mary Kay! (Now I know my twitter pic is of the one day I actually did dress up with my daughters, but if you knew me you would know this friend is my antithesis based on this fact alone.) And she doesn’t care that my idea of getting ready in the morning is hopping out of the shower and throwing some hopefully appropriate clothes on.

Now back to the sex. (You thought I just threw that in there and forgot?) Being married for years upon years means you know each other well, that you are comfortable with each other and now that the children are no longer waking you up every night you actually have energy. In fact some nights bedtime comes and you’re not all that tired yet! (Imagine that young moms…) It’s not just the sex though. It’s the absence of fights that are really all about each person not understanding what the other is saying. It’s about being able to say anything you want without the other person taking it the wrong way because they know you and trust that you love them, and always will. It’s comfortable, and comfortable is good. Really good.

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Life

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Stress Free Christian Living

The Christian life should be easy, at least when it comes to relationships. Matthew 18 promises us that we cannot be kicked out of fellowship unless we have been more than adequately warned when we mess up. We are also told that all we need to do is repent and we will be forgiven seven times seventy times (which I am told is not a finite number, but actually means ‘a lot’). 2 Corinthians 2:7 also tells us that, when we do repent and come back into fellowship Christians are to ‘forgive and comfort,’ so we can be sure that, if our heart is right, we will be treated with kindness, love and mercy- correct? We are not to judge, unless we really want to be judged by God by the standard we impose on others, and we are always to remember that we too were once sinner, and that it is only by the grace of God that we do not find ourselves in the other person’s position, doing the same things, or worse. So what’s the problem? Why are Christians known as judgmental and unloving? Come on people, relax and love! (I’ve got my ‘hippie’ shirt on today- Can’t you tell?)

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Life

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Recognize When You Are Just ‘Muddling Through’

God just brought to mind a time when I was talking to a woman I know. She was distraught. She felt like a failure. She could not keep her house clean, her kids looking like angels etc. I laughed. I told her that’s because that’s not how God made you!
Some women are good at being housewives. They love to clean, organize, shop and their house always smells like freshly baked something. Others of us are more like the Proverbs 31 woman. We would rather be out, making our own money, buying a field and managing the vineyard. And that’s okay.
So, what if you are an out and about person who has decided that, based on current circumstances, it is best for you to be home with the children and not conquering the world? You ‘muddle.’ You use your skills the best you can in your current situation. You make it fun- your home does not have to resemble anyone else’s! (novel concept, I know.) Your children are likely like you, and your husband feels blessed to have you, so why not just be- you! But know that you are in the situation with a ‘servant’s heart.’ You are not the woman who paints her wall four times because it is not the right shade of puce (whatever that is). You are who God made you. Figure out who that is, get the stuff you ‘muddle’ with through quickly, and then enjoy, doing the things in life the way only ‘you’ can! (And if you are an awesome housewife, congratulations, enjoy it, but you will have to tell me what that’s like! Though some of you may be an awesome housewife, aching to be home full time, but cannot. You will need to ‘muddle’ too, in a different way…)

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